“I have always loved the great characters of the theater, tv shows, and movies. And they always say the right things at the right times, so I wanted to go into a line of work where the perfect words were always planned for me ahead of time, so I couldn’t run the risk of screwing up or looking stupid. Which is why I’m Darren Criss, and I’m an acorn— actor! I’m an actor. Can we take it again?”